When A Caller Throws A Curveball

Even after years on the air, one of the toughest skills for a host to develop is the art of interacting with callers. Like baccarat in a Nevada casino, it’s the one game in the house with a completely unpredictable long term outcome.

While other components of a talk show can be rigidly controlled by a well-focused host, callers can within mere moments ruin the momentum, change the subject, violate FCC regulations or occasionally, make memorable contributions. When things go wrong, it’s up to you to quickly get the train back on track.

During WRKO’s Howie Carr Show last week, I was listening as a potentially suicidal woman was put live on the air during afternoon drive. From today’s Boston Herald:

The hardboiled WRKO radio host and Herald columnist tried to dissuade a female caller – distraught over the bleak economy – from killing herself, divulging that his own grandfather committed suicide during the Depression.

The caller, who identified herself as 54-year-old “Carol,” told Carr that she moved to Jonesport, Maine, three years ago, bought a $59,000 house and had been trying to get a job, without success.

In a stunning on-air admission, “Carol” revealed that she swallowed 100 pills in a suicide attempt last February when she was about to lose her home. Her daughter from Montana showed up “out the blue” and “saved my life,” according to an audiotape of the show.

Ever since, her two daughters have been paying her mortgage and other bills. “And now, they’re so strapped out from helping me that I am right back where I was last February and seriously contemplating suicide,” said “Carol.”

“Don’t kill yourself, Carol,” Carr said. “It’s always a bad mistake to kill yourself, Carol. I’m serious about that. Your family never recovers from a suicide.”

“Carol” became emotional during the 3 minute call, saying she was “burdening” her family.

Carr talked with her a bit longer before moving on to other callers. But his listeners wanted to stay on the subject, with several trying to pursuade Carol not to take her life.

Carr told listeners that he’s made jokes about it in the past but that his grandfather killed himself in 1931 during the Depression. “The family basically never recovered,” Carr said.

It turned out an agent with the Maine Drug Enforcement Agency was listening to Carr’s show, and police were quickly dispatched to Carol’s home.

Reached yesterday, “Carol,” whose name the Herald is withholding, said she had called Carr’s show because “I feel like nobody’s listening to me.”

As the economy continues to tank, experts predict radio hosts could be fielding more calls from suicidal listeners.

And in today’s Herald column, Howie offers his personal take:

She told me she’d tried to kill herself last February by taking “100 pills” but that her daughter had found her. But now, she said, she was thinking about it again.

Now, this is not the kind of call I solicit. My job is to entertain you, not depress you. So when “Carol” mentioned suicide, my first response was to try to snap her out of it without appearing to be a callous brute, which is what I basically am. “Don’t kill yourself,” I said. “Sell those pills to the junkie and you can get some of her SSDI.”

But by then she was crying, so I had to try a different tack. I told her what a bad mistake it is to kill yourself. “Your family never recovers from a suicide,” I told her.

She said she didn’t want to be a burden on her two daughters.

“It’s a bigger burden to kill yourself, Carol,” I said, “because that way, they’ll always be asking, what could I have done?”

We went on for a while, and finally I had to cut her off. But other callers wanted to keep talking about Carol’s obvious despair over her financial plight, so I told them what I knew about suicide in times of economic turmoil.

In 1931, my maternal grandfather killed himself. He worked in the post office in Monroe, N.C. I’ve never really been clear about why he did it – a common theme, I’ve discovered – but one reason I’ve heard was the Depression. Supposedly he’d lost some money, but I don’t know for sure.

All I know is, my grandfather went down to the basement of the post office and blew his brains out, and that was basically the end of my mother’s family. The relatives urged my grandmother to put her five kids into an orphanage. She kept things together by giving piano lessons in return for food.

My initial reaction to Carol was a bit different: I thought of how WRKO budget cuts had gone much too far, leaving his lone remaining producer with too little time to adequately vet potential callers. That’s because I don’t recommend allowing suicidal or other deeply troubled individuals on the air.

Talk hosts aren’t grief counselors, they’re there to discuss news items. The public is invited to participate, but a certain amount of structure is necessary.

Think of it this way: what if Howie (or any other host) were to give bad advice, or take some other unproductive approach that results in the unthinkable? There are trained professionals who handle exactly this sort of situation for a living. His producer should direct distraught callers to crisis hotlines for help.

Sometimes, however, this type of call somehow does end up on the air and it’s up to the host to deal with it. Carr’s approach did add a human element and was thankfully effective. Clearly, his own family has never quite recovered from his grandfather’s suicide; his story forced Carol to think about those she would leave behind.

Nonetheless, talk radio is not the place for suicidal individuals, regardless of the economy or whatever else might be driving it.

Carr Image: Arthur Pollock, Boston Herald

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